


The Thoughts of a Dying Man

by ExhaustedDeer



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Ambiguous Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Character Study, Gen, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27189035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExhaustedDeer/pseuds/ExhaustedDeer
Summary: Lonato loved his children dearly, all of them, and even as he laid there dying he had no regrets. He'd done everything for them, he just hoped they could see that one day and forgive him for not being strong enough.(Or a character study of Lonato)(Also I gave Ashe's siblings names because there is no way Lonato is going around referring to his kids by their relationship to Ashe)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	The Thoughts of a Dying Man

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing a fic for Fire Emblem and probably the last time but damn it, this idea won't leave me alone. It turned out bittersweet and a bit tragic but Lonato is a tragic character so I think it fits. Also I wrote this in a few hours with minimal editing. Anyway enjoy!

Lonato remembered the way his heart swelled looking at his wife, Helena, with their newborn son. He’d never felt so terrified, looking at the fragile creature babbling nonsensically at them. Lonato held Christophe through the night, as his exhausted wife slept peacefully for the first time since her pregnancy. He stayed up the whole night, feeding Christophe a mix of goat milk and oats when he woke and changing his diaper when necessary. His son had only been alive for half a day and Lonato already adored him. He didn’t know if his heart could take loving the whole battalion of children Helena dreamed of if every birth left him feeling like this. Lonato sent a silent prayer to the goddess for strength, and thanked her for his first born.

Lonato remembered the pain of heartbreak that happened a few short years later, when Helena suddenly died. Christophe had been so young, and unable to fully understand what had happened. Lonato felt his heartbreak even further if that was possible. He had lost his wife, his partner, and the love of his life but Christophe, he had lost a mother. Christophe was the only reason he made it through those dark days following her death. It wouldn’t do for him to lose a father as well, Lonato told himself. Still in private he mourned, once again praying to the goddess for strength and thanking for her Christophe who had quickly become the light of his life.

It took Lonato several more years before he realized the death of his wife didn’t mean the death of her dream. He remembered that late night when he meet his second son, Ashe. The boy looked so scared when Lonato found him. He was far too skinny for his age and desperate to get away constantly looking for escape routes. Lonato spent the night talking with the boy, calming him down and reading him the very book he had tried to steal before gifting it to him. It reminded him so much of that first night with Christophe. By the time dawn came, Lonato had learned the boy was an orphan just trying to get enough gold to feed his two younger siblings. And just like that Lonato knew he would have four kids, if the three of them would accept him as their father that is.

Gaining Ashe’s trust took a great deal of time, he’d had a hard life and it made Lonato’s heart ache to protect the boy; but Lonato knew there would be no rushing this process. Two months later and Lonato convinced the boy to bring his siblings to Castle Gaspard for the day. Christophe accepted them with open arms, he was born to be a big brother, kind and sincere even when listening to the strange fantasies of the young children. Christophe had spent most of the day letting the younger siblings, Ella and Gray, ride on his shoulders laughing with them as he pretended to be a horse. Ashe who had been suspicious of Christophe at first, quickly warmed to up the boy. By the end of the day all of his children were getting along as if they had know each other their whole lives. Lonato felt his heart ache once more, watching them play.

It took another two months and countless day trips to Castle Gaspard before Lonato carefully broached the topic of adoption with Ashe. Many tears were shed that night as he finally allowed himself to call Ashe his son out loud. The next morning the Ashe brought Ella and Gray to Castle Gaspard to stay permanently this time. The younger siblings quickly began calling Lonato “papa” and while Ashe was generally more reserved, in private he’d refer to Lonato as father, dropping the adoptive part of his title. Once again Lonato prayed to the goddess for strength and thanked her for his children. This time however he hoped his wife was happy seeing her dream unfold in an unpredictable way. It wasn’t quite the battalion she wanted but his heart was open if more children needed him like Ashe, Ella and Gray had.

Years passed and not a day went by that he didn’t thank the goddess for his children. His heart ached when Christophe left for the Officers Academy but he knew he they had to find their own way in the world. He held his youngest two as they cried seeing Christophe ride off. Ashe didn’t cry but Lonato knew he felt the same sorrow. Christophe’s letters helped, ease the sense of loss with they felt. Each person got their own individual letter, sometimes there would also be letters addressed to more than one person but Christophe made sure that each month everyone got at least one letter from him to them alone.

Then came the worst day of Lonato’s life. The death of his firstborn. Executed by the church. Ratted out by that Cassandra who was spared and protected by same very church that murdered his son. She could have prevented all of this pain but instead she stabbed Christophe in the back and watched him bleed. They were all a wreck for a long time afterwards. Mourning had been difficult, he felt like he’d let a part of his wife die all over again by being helpless to stop the Church from executing their son. Had it not been for their remaining three children Lonato doubts he would have made it through his grief for his son and Helena’s dream in once piece. He put on a brave face for his children’s sake holding them as they cried out for Christophe, as he swore silently that he would not let that vile woman and her treacherous church harm another one of his children. Not so much as a scratch. His resolve was absolute. And once again he prayed to the goddess for strength this time to protect them.

Lonato thought he knew fear, but when Ashe was old enough to be accepted in the officers Academy he remembers being so terrified he threw up after seeing his children off to bed. He wouldn’t let that vile woman harm Ashe who so much like his older brother. Helena would never forgive him if he allowed it to happen again. He knew he could not deny Ashe the experience of going to the Officer’s Academy but also knew he needed a way to protect his son. And his two younger children that would no doubt want to attend when they were of age as well. Lonato spent the night pacing in his room devising a plan to protect them.

Seeing Ashe off was harder than with Christophe, this time he was left alone holding the sobbing Ella and Gray. Lonato was supposed to meet with the Rodrigue but he had the maids tell them he was sick instead. He spent the day reading Ashe’s favorite tales to Ella and Gray, trying to stop himself from feeling as if he had sent Ashe across enemy lines to his death. Ella and Gray eventually feel asleep in the library and Lonato didn’t have the heart to move them. They would be out of his sight in their shared room where he couldn’t see them, couldn’t make sure they were alright, couldn’t protect them. Like Ashe was now and like Christophe had been. So he took off his cape and laid it over them as a blanket. He prayed the Goddess would keep them all safe and give him the strength to protect all of them.

Ashe was so much like his older brother sending a letter to each of them individually. Lonato couldn’t help but fear for the boy, he knew how badly this could end. So he made sure absolutely nothing in his letters to Ashe hinted at him making a stand against the treacherous church. He wouldn’t give them an excuse to execute any more of his children. His days were spent gathering allies as unlikely as some of them were, the western church, a strange group of mages, and the townspeople who had stood by him through thick and thin. While his nights were spent reading to his children, making sure they were okay, seeing how their days went and most of all that they were completely in the dark about his plans.

Lonato remembers how resigned he felt when word came down that the church was sending a group of students to “handle” his rebellion. When he heard Ashe was in the class being sent, he could only hope the professor in charge would have enough sense to keep Ashe off of the battlefield. This was between him and the central church. He would protect his children no matter the cost. That month he commissioned a blacksmith and hid a letter inside the tale of Loog and the Maiden of the Wind. Lonato was determined to succeed but he also wasn’t naive, he planned for failure just incase. For possibly the last time Lonato prayed to the goddess for protection and the strength to succeed.

Finally the day came.

That morning he kissed the foreheads of Ella and Gray, hugged them tightly and left them to play with two of his most trusted knights in the heart of Castle Gaspard, they were to become the children's guardians should he fall in battle. Lonato could only hope that they would not know the sorrow of losing yet another parent. On the battlefield, the mages had created a fog, that helped obscure their movements and they waited. Cassandra was on the field and rage boiled in his blood as he watched her arrogant display. Unfortunately, Ashe was also on the field and not far behind. Lonato knew he would have to make a show of striking at his son should he wander too close. Anything less and all of this would be for nothing, and Ashe would be in danger of sharing Christophe’s fate.

Ashe, of course, pleaded with him to stop, he was so much like Christophe. He warned Ashe to stop but he knew it was of no use. Ashe would find out sooner or later that the townsfolk had made their own decision just as he had. As everyone on this battlefield had. So Lonato lied, told his son to fight when all he wanted to was beg him to leave the field and hide away with Ella and Gray. He swung his lance but it would have missed even if Ashe hadn’t ducked out of the way. He’d already lost one son to the church, he refused to lose another.

Everything happened so fast and a moment later he was impaled on Cassandra’s Thunderbrand. He hardly felt it when he hit the ground pinned down by his own horse. With the last his insufficient strength he looked to Ashe, who was crying into the shoulder of a young cleric.

His wife had wanted a battalion of children, she’d had one before dying. He’d found three more and watched as they’d lost a brother. Now they were losing a father for the second time but looking at Ashe and the students surrounding and comforting him, Lonato felt that in a roundabout way he’d made his wife’s dream come true. A battalion of children, his son’s brothers and sisters in arms all offering their support. It wasn’t exactly how he’d pictured it but he felt no remorse or regret as he died. His goal had been to protect his living children and ensure no one would die as Christophe had. He regretted leaving them but if his death only ensured their safety so be it, he hoped that one day they would understand and forgive him. His final gift would be of protection and a custom dagger, one for each of them to cut their own paths and set to be delivered upon his death. Lonato offered up one last prayer, for the goddess to protect his children and to grant them the strength it would take for them to stand on their own two feet and carve their own paths. He could provide them nothing else. And as his heart stopped Lonato was at peace, he would join Helena and Christophe watching over them.


End file.
